10.26.11 -Being Thankful

After a long stress filled day. I end my day with a prayer. I thank God for all that He has done and what he’s going to do in my life. I may not have had the most perfect day or it may not have turned out the way I wanted it to but it surely did end with a positive note. I’ve learned from many of my past experiences to Thank God through everything because every problem is building my character. I’ve expressed my feelings to my Lord and I know that He’s taking care of my problems for me. I look up and sigh of relief because I know that I shouldn’t worry over something that will pass. I let my tears flow and begin to let God heal my brokenness. The feeling of the overbearing, my limit point, something I can’t explain. I feel so stuck from all this crazy madness that I’m feeling and feel as though it’s not worth it anymore. Sometimes, it just doesn’t seem worth it. I’m in desperate need of this connection. I can’t take much more. But even if I feel the way I feel, I know for sure that He will rescue me at the end of the day so I look up and thank him for the great things He’s done because His good outweighs the bad.

10.24.11- Natural Beauty

Girls, we sure do love our make-up. I use to wear it a few years ago but i never really understood why. I just knew my friends wore it so i did too, kind of silly if you think about it. I started very young actually, 12 years old. I remember adults would tell me not wear it because it made me look ugly and older than i was but i thought it made me look pretty. I do have to say, to some extent it makes you look more "attractive" but nothing compares to your natural beauty. When I first gave my life to Jesus, one of the biggest challenges i had was giving up my make-up. It was a mess, i didn't know how beautiful i was without it. i felt like i wasn't me. I had to learn that i was way more beautiful without make up, he showed me that i didn't need all the make-up to feel beautiful. Lesson Learned, Never again.

10.13.11- Positive Outlook

It's been a while since I've gotten the chance to sit down and write. I've been feeling stressed out and confused as to what to do with my post high school life. So many hard decisions are being made and I find myself stuck. I pray that God helps me through with these decisions and there is so many other situations going on. I'm being thrown every where by these waves of life, being broken but being made. School has been pretty tough these past weeks and i've been struggling to keep myself up but in the middle of all of this i find peace in this verse, "Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." He truly is amazing, I can't complain. Everything that happens to me in my life is for a REASON and I've learned to see life in a more positive way when it comes to difficulties because i know that He will NOT let me down. <3

10.03.11- No More Tears

I’ve been down this road before, I remember being very hurt. I gave it my all, my soul poured out too. I was blinded by the lies and I was deceived by its satisfaction. I tried to cover up the bad with how much I loved him. I remember I gave it my best, every ounce of strength was put into that. I loved him so much and at times he was everything I ever wanted. It wasn’t always perfect, there were tough times. Some times I would cry, but I never gave up on him. I struggled and was dedicated to the fact that I considered him mine. I loved him so much that somehow in the middle of all this I lost myself. I got blinded and at some point when everything was bad, I just wouldn’t give up on him. When he started getting ripped away from me I didn’t want to let him go, he was everything to me. I didn’t realize it then but this was definitely necessary. He was no good for me. I wept, because it hurt to see him fade away without a hesitation. I waited for a long time, day and night hoping that he would return. I would pray everyday that he would return. He never treated me the way that I was suppose to be treated but I loved him so much that I was blinded. Just like many other genuine girls, I was cheated; cheated by the lies of false promises. I didn’t know what to do or who I was anymore. I didn’t know who Jodie was anymore, but one day this all changed. Once all the tears were dried up and I was awakened I realized that this wasn’t a place I wanted to be for the rest of my life. So getting up, dusting myself off trying to get myself together again. I started to realize that this was a major stepping stone. I had to grow up, change my mentality. I began this long journey and I didn’t know where I was heading but I knew that it was somewhere positive. I struggled, cried, got frustrated and almost gave up plenty of times but kept moving. I recollected my thoughts, dreamed new dreams, and began to be okay with not having him in my life anymore. As this healing began to advance I began to write more, I poured myself on this paper and I realized that through this, I had left my passion for him because he didn’t like it. I realized that someone who tries to stop you from your dreams isn’t worth trying for. I lost myself for someone that didn’t care an ounce about me, I know this because if he did we would still keep in contact but I don’t hurt anymore over this situation because I know that someday someone will appreciate me.